All the ways I die

In tarot and in various dream interpretations, seeing (own) death can mean 'change'. I have been noticing and writing about witch weather for the past couple of months in my journal. It is my belief that this weather serves as a forewarning for a shift.

For someone who is easily bored, this is welcome news I suppose. In the confines of these walls what else do we have to look forward to?

Anyway, I have been dying in my dreams for sometime now and I can recollect the following instances at various points of my life so far:

1. Oceans Deep

I truly wish I could swim. However, that does not guarantee that one would survive the waves. The ship I was aboard, dissipated and I found myself in the truly terrifying depths of the pacific. The literal middle of the ocean, where even fishes do not venture. A sea so deep that, no matter how low we sink, our feet might never touch the ground. A part of water that was only ever touched by migrating whales and nothing else.

Buoyancy and gravity made it difficult to assume which side was up. You'd think seeing a shark would make your survival instincts kick in, but we aren't that lucky. There is no other colour we hate more than blue right now. With flailing arms, I search for something, anything, anything at all to hold on to. Anything to even hope for. God doesn't give us a straw. At some point, not long after, I give up and let the ocean claim me.

2. Space Race

This isn't very different from the above dream. Although I wouldn't call this a dream. This is a nightmare.

Imagine being stranded. With no supplies, no transport, no traveler near or far.

Now imagine being stranded in space. You do not even have the luxury of any acting forces on you, like gravity. Even if you died here, your body might never touch the ground on any planet. There is no atmosphere to feel. And your suit can only protect you for so long. If you knew your oxygen levels, you could countdown to your death, while seeing the cosmic dance of a promising nebula.

3. Sink Lower

The well was the size of a kid's pool. It just looked like a well. The water came up to my calves and grey sand had settled to the bottom, leaving the water as clear as a mirror. On closer inspection, I could see red stones littered on the bed. They were harmless, but it gave a beautiful reflection in the water.

Once I had both my feet inside the well and sat down, the water rose to my neck. "Eureka indeed." I thought. The water kept steadily rising. No wait. That was a mistake. The water wasn't rising. The well where I had sat down, had now shrunk in breadth but elongated in depth, leaving my previously sitting body in an upright position.

I could no longer see the sand bed or the glimmering red stones. There was only darkness below. By now, the well had shrunk around my shoulders, so I couldn't put my hand up. I think someone tried to save me, but I chose to calmly sink.

4. Blood Bath

*This is a tad gory. If you are easily squeamish about the human body, do not read further. You have been warned.*

I needed to use the loo. Easily the most irritating dream because who wants to get up in the middle of the night. But I digress. After the 'deed' I felt a twinge. A trickle of blood made way out of my body. At first, I assumed it was my periods. No sooner had I thought that, the trickle turned to a full blown gush of blood that wanted to exit my body like a dam had broken.

I ran outside, knowing that I had but moments of consciousness left, clutched my stomach and lay down on the floor. People were horrified, nevertheless, I asked them to not call the ambulance or take me anywhere else. That would be futile.

"I'm going to die." I explained quietly and peacefully slipped into slumber.