Don't mind me

It was a day like any other. Following celebrities around. Gathering gossip material for the mag.

Today it was Monica and her little girl Chastity. We dissected everything, including Chastity’s hair to Monica’s parenting. The little girl didn’t understand why the camera people were following them and why Mama was a little nervous. Nonetheless, she kept talking like the little chatterbox she is who pretends to be a grown- up.



Journalist: What does Chastity’s hairstyle say about Monica’s parenting? The braids say that she is trying too hard to look cute and her hand constantly behind Chastity’s shoulder sure mean that Monica is a controlling mom…

(Monica, horrified, retracts her hand).

Chastity: What is it mommy?

Monica: Emm… Hufflepuff

C: What’s Hufflepuff?

M: Um... Complicated Mathematics

C: Ohh, too bad I don’t understand complicated mathematics. That is why they have computers. Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to use a computer to buy a book on complicated mathematics.

J: As we have seen that celeb children generally are not very bright, to say the least.

(Monica throws a dirty look. They walk into a food store)

M: We need staples.

(Gets bread, eggs and milk)

C: Why do we get bread and eggs?

M: We eat them.

C: Oh. It’s funny how we can get these from inside the computer. Hey, don’t mind me, I’m just trying to use a computer to buy food.

(Finish paying for the items and head out. They pass some slot machines on the way)

C: What are these?

M: They are slot machines. You can play and win money.

C: They look like a computer. Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to use a computer to buy a computer…

Cameraman (me) to J: I don't think she is dumb.


(We had to stop following them after that because I woke up).


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